things overheard at the open house for my first-grader

Teacher: "And this is our kindness bank. Whenever we see someone being kind, or a general act of kindness we put a penny in the bank"

First Grader: "Yeah, I put my nickel in there."

(low rumble of laughter)

First Grader: "I want my nickel outta there..."

(more parental laughter)

First Grader: " I'm serious. What's so funny about the nickel?"

(Roar of parental laughter)

ALSO

During one of the teacher's presentations, no less than 5 PARENTS got a call on their cell phone!!! Seriously people, don't you know how the silencer works on that shit? Totally rude.

filed under: truth is as funny as fiction

I love The Onion. It is on par with my other favorite media outlet, The Daily Show. It is always dead on hilarious.

Last year I was perusing the website and came across this story. It made me laugh at the hilarious one-up-man-ship, that goes on in the business world. I giggled until I almost fell over. It quickly became one of my favorite stories in the onion ever. And remember that this article came out in 2004.

Imagine my surprise when my hubby Mark, drew my attention to this article! The Onion predicted the 5 blade razor -- over a year ago!! I guess the guys in R&D at Gilette don't read The Onion, or they would have added even more blades. Truth is indeed stranger than fiction. And FUNNY too!

After the last few days I have had, I needed that laugh.

Sammy 1996-2005

I am sad to report that our dog Sam died yesterday evening. He was a great doggie, who loved his people and especially a good tennis ball. It took us a few days to realize what was going on with him. We took him to the vet last week and he was diagnosed with leptospirosis. It turns out he was actually suffering from a cancerous mass on his spleen. The staff at the Ann Arbor Animal Hospital was very supportive and compassionate. I thank them for their good care of Sam over the last 9 years.

It is never easy to say goodbye to a friend. Especially one of the hairy variety.

Peace Sammy. We will miss you.

Sam RIP 

brooke art 9/05 

for your listening pleasure

This past weekend, we had our semi/bi-annual visit from our friend Josh. Mark and Josh went to college together at Michigan and Josh comes in for at least one football game per season. (He will join us again in November for the Ohio State game) In honor of his visit, I have provided a link to a funny song, written and performed by our friend Ron (aka. UFO). The titile of the song is "Josh Pollack's got the funk".

an open letter to milo, my 11 month old puppy

Dear Milo,

It has been a little over 9 months since you have joined our family. I knew I was a goner when I saw you frolicking with your brothers and sisters on that surprisingly warm November afternoon. You were a roly-poly tumble of golden fur, and we loved you instantly. We brought you home and the training began.

The first few weeks of house training were challenging. I had forgotten what it was like to take care of a little baby. And taking you outside to go potty at 2 am was something I had conveniently blocked out of my memory from previous puppies. At least during one of our nighttime trips I got to see the northern lights!

But you are now almost a year old and I have but one thing to say, enough with the chewing already!!! It is strange, but you seem to have a preference for Brooke's things. Maybe in a past life you were a four year old girl. Gone are many markers, colored pencils, My Little Ponies, Barbies, tennis shoes, and game pieces. Not to mention the plant pots, tennis balls destroyed and generally anything that is plastic. Many a tupperware bowl you have left in your wake. We do love you and despite all of your puppieish behaviors, you are becoming a pretty well mannered dog. I even enjoy taking you for walks, you are honestly the best leash dog I have ever had... but seriously, it's beginning to border on the ridiculous.

As we near your first birthday, we thank the dog gods that you found us. But please, for the love of Snoopy, STOP CHEWING UP OUR STUFF!!

Love,

Your mom

milo the destroyer

Milo the destroyer

baby girl

As a former "thespian", I love to watch Inside the Actors Studio. A few years ago Glen Close was being interviewed. She was getting down to all the nitty-gritty actory stuff that I love and she was talking about how the energy can change when a new person walks into a room. How all the molecules get shifted around. I witnessed that this morning (and in a good way).

My client delivered her first baby at 7:10 this morning. She was 7 days past due, her parents had tickets back to the west coast for this evening, and she managed to deliver before they left! And no, she decided against trying castor oil. I first heard from her last night as I was getting my kids in bed. She had been having contractions for about 3 hours, but they were still feeling ok. I suggested she go about her normal evening routine, and if they continued it was labor, and if they didn't they were probably just practice. I next heard from them around 9:15pm. They were around 5 to 3 minutes apart. I asked how she was feeling and if they wanted me to join them yet. They said all was fine, and that they would call back when they wanted me to join them.

I had a meeting of the minds with my hubby about logistics for the morning and getting the kids off to school. Headed to bed around 11pm. Got the next call at 4:45am. They were off to the hospital. I got up, washed my face, found some clean clothes, grabbed the doula bag and hit the road. I arrived at the hospital around 5:20am asked for them in triage, but they had already been moved to a room. Things must be moving I think.

Sure enough, she is dilated at 10 and beginning to push. At first it looks as if she is not really pushing, but still working through her contractions. She is part of a study being conducted at the university, and is designated in the "uncoached pushing group". I love when I have a client in this study who is in this group. Nobody counts to ten or shouts at the woman to push! PUUUSSSHHH! Everything is quiet, with the occasional encouraging statement. "You are so strong" "That was a good one" "Yep, just like that" "You are doing so well". (My client is a runner who has done marathons, I have been instructed NOT to say "You are almost there!" apparently marathoners hate that.) Her pushing stage was so great. She listened to her body and brought her baby down with each push. It was totally spontaneous and utterly amazing. Baby girl was born at 7:10am. Tears in my eyes, I snap photos.

The energy shifts to another emotional level when Grandma walks in the room. Three generations of women, cry together in joy, well the baby was mostly clearing her lungs, but I bet she could feel the energy shift too.

seeing into the future

Hurricane Katrina is an unspeakable tragedy and I can't really add anything which has not already been expressed. I have only been to New Orleans once, for a friend's wedding, but like many people, developed a deep love of the city and its lively people during my brief stay there. I am stunned and aghast by the destruction.

Last night I was leafing through an old copy of National Geographic (from October 2004). I had originally bought it for the article on Hawaii's volcanoes because Andrew is WAY into them. I was stopped cold by another article in the magazine about the lost wetlands along the Louisiana coast. Check it out here. The first five paragraphs are eerily accurate to what transpired over the last week. Sadly the warnings were not heeded and now New Orleans lies underwater.

I think the kid is just not ready

I have this client that I am waiting on. Her EDD was last Tuesday. During one of our prenatal meetings she mentioned that there was some question about the accuacy of her dates. So the fact that she is now "overdue" is not surprising to me. She is a first time mom, and often times first time mommies go overdue right? I was pastdates with BOTH of my kids. So I know the frustration she is feeling right now.

She called me today to say that she and her husband were thinking of trying to take castor oil as a means of starting labor. I told her that I haven't had much experience with castor oil, and before doing anything she should probably talk to her midwife. As her doula, I felt like I couldn't recommend that she do that. It really does fall outside my scope of practice. We talked about the pros and cons of trying things to get labor started, but in the end I just kind of reminded her that babies are on their own time table. She is feeling some external pressure as well; her parents have been in town for the past two weeks. They extended their tickets until Wednesday.

I remember her frustration well. I was 5 days past my due date with my son, and was SO OVER being pregnant I couldn't stand it one more minute. I ran into a neighbor that night and she gave me her recipe for succes in getting labor started. She said "Go on a nice long walk, come home have a glass of wine, take a nice long hot bath and then have sex with your hubby!" Sounded like a plan to me! I did everything she said, and a few hours later, my water broke.

I know she would really like to have her baby while her parents are in town. It's just unfortunate that she is under this pressure to "perform". It is probably a safe bet that they aren't hounding her to go into labor, but just their presence must be giving her anxiety. Not the best bet for relaxing and getting a labor started. I think the best thing for her to take, is time.