"just leave it to the professionals..."

I had an interview tonight with a potential client for November. I really enjoy the interview process. I have learned in my years as a doula not to get attatched to the client in the interview, sometimes people hire you, sometimes they don't. I always feel like I get the people that I am "supposed" to get.

I don't know if the woman who interviewed me tonight will hire me. I hope she does hire a doula, because if she stays with the care provider that she has now, she is definitely going to need one. We had a really good chat, and she told me about her motivations for wanting to hire a doula. It is her first pregnancy and she doesn't know how she or her husband will be in labor, she wants someone who has been there before. She seems to have all the normal reasons for wanting to have a doula. She said the main reason for seeking out a doula was that the care isn't like she thought it was going to be. She has had an easy pregnancy so far, but expressed dissapointment in a couple of areas. For example the lack of time during her appointments. Also she says she feels "bad" if she is asking too many questions. She doesn't want to be the "annoying question-asking patient". I told her that she shouldn't feel bad at all, that today's care is truly a consumer based arena and that she should get an answer to any question that she puts to her provider.

Then the conversation got really interesting.

She said that although she still has 2.5 months left before the birth of her first baby, she was already thinking about what she would do differently next time. I asked her what she thought she would do. She said she would probably go with a midwife and maybe even have a homebirth. She went on to explain that there was a discovery during this pregnancy in regard to the baby (I don't want to be specific) and that she didn't feel that her current provider gave her the best explanation possible, but tried to blow her off by responding "Just leave it to the professionals..."

When she said this, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

I wanted to tell her to run! Run as fast as she could and find a new care provider. Preferably a midwife, but what could I say? I tried to be as diplomatic as possible, but still let her know that she DOES have options. I wanted to say dump this provider immediately! Instead I told her to listen to her heart. That women have the best outcomes when they feel safe and supported.

I hope she makes the right choice. For her sake.

rock star

Bad lighting, a little blurry, but sorta cool anyway. 

Star Struck

We have been having a really busy summer here. The neglect of this blog obviously reflects that. The kids have been home with me all summer, and we have been trying to keep busy and stay away from the tv.

I have also had a very busy summer going to concerts. I started off the summer by going to see Ani DiFranco at the Power Center here in Ann Arbor in June. Great show. I have seen Ani before and each time I am awed by her amazing talent.

Then in July, Mark and I flew out to San Francisco for our big "Tenth Anniversary Trip". We initially bought tickets to see Ween and The Flaming Lips and then planned our trip around the concert. My brother-in-law, Dave found it hilarious that we wanted to celebrate such a momentous occasion by flying to California to see Ween. It was completely worth the trip and we had a blast.

Shortly after we got home from California, we went and saw The Raconteurs at the Michigan Theatre. Jack White from White Stripes fame has this band as a side project from the White Stripes. The Raconteurs is a full band as opposed to the two person unit of the White Stripes. Despite the fact that the band only has one album, Jack White and company proceeded to melt our faces off during the show. Awesome.

I have written here before about the fact that Wilco is my favorite band. I have seen them live at least 6 times. Last fall I also went and saw Jeff Tweedy solo here in town. I had a lovely time, and shared the evening with Doulicia and her hubby.

So a couple of months ago I noticed on the Wilco website that Jeff was doing a solo show in Raleigh, NC. We have family in Greensboro and I also have a good friend who lives in Raleigh. I got online the morning that tickets went on sale and put in my request for tickets. I was rewarded with FRONT ROW TICKETS! I really made the purchase on a whim, figuring that it was summer and we could somehow get down there for the show.

As things turned out, Mark was unable to commit to going to the show with me due to work. If it wasn't for the fact that I got front row tickets, I surely would have sold them on ebay or the wilco fan site, but I have never had front row tickets for anything, let alone my all time favorite singer/songwriter. I had to make it happen.

I booked my flight in June and told my friend Tracy that I was coming in for the show, and that she would have to come with me. She happily agreed. I flew in on Wednesday morning and Wednesday evening we went to the show.

It was a glorious evening. It was almost a perfect evening. Great venue, great weather, a great friend by my side and a bottle of Cabernet. The music was just awesome, and Jeff was in fine form. He joked with the crowd and seemed to be having fun too. I went to sleep happy.

The next morning, Tracy took me back to the airport for my return trip home. I was still buzzing from the evening before (not from the wine, just the general atmosphere). I checked in at the kiosk, got my boarding passes and proceeded to the security checkpoint. I was happy to find that there was NO LINE! Raleigh has a relatively small airport, so security was a breeze. I am sitting on a chair, putting my shoes back on and I look up and there.....is Jeff Tweedy. We lock eyes and I immediately crap my pants. I am sure that my mouth was hanging open when I tried to squeak out a hello. He gave me a sheepish grin, and ambled off.

At this point I am freaking out! I was completely star-struck! I just saw my musical hero and completely choked! I get a drink of water and decide to head to my gate. I stopped at one of the news-stand/stores and grab a bottle of water, and THERE HE IS AGAIN! Looking at the magazines. I crap my pants a second time, pay for my water and find a seat at my gate. A few minutes later, Jeff walks up to my gate and finds a seat. (Is the dude stalking me?) I come to the realization that we are going to be on the same flight. I crap my pants a third and final time.

I still cannot find it within myself to say anything to him. I think I was afraid of sounding like Chris Farley in The Chris Farley show. (Thanks for the link doulicia). I am a pretty shy person in general. I don't really like parties because I can't stand making small talk. It takes me a while to get to know people, and am really uncomfortable in social situations. I am just really shy!

However, today I am still kicking myself for not saying hello. So Jeff if you are out there, the girl with the brown hair and brown eyes in the Michigan t-shirt at the Raleigh airport yesterday? She says Hi. And also that I am a big fan and that I really enjoyed the show Wednesday night. And thanks for the music. And, you are awesome.