"just leave it to the professionals..."

I had an interview tonight with a potential client for November. I really enjoy the interview process. I have learned in my years as a doula not to get attatched to the client in the interview, sometimes people hire you, sometimes they don't. I always feel like I get the people that I am "supposed" to get.

I don't know if the woman who interviewed me tonight will hire me. I hope she does hire a doula, because if she stays with the care provider that she has now, she is definitely going to need one. We had a really good chat, and she told me about her motivations for wanting to hire a doula. It is her first pregnancy and she doesn't know how she or her husband will be in labor, she wants someone who has been there before. She seems to have all the normal reasons for wanting to have a doula. She said the main reason for seeking out a doula was that the care isn't like she thought it was going to be. She has had an easy pregnancy so far, but expressed dissapointment in a couple of areas. For example the lack of time during her appointments. Also she says she feels "bad" if she is asking too many questions. She doesn't want to be the "annoying question-asking patient". I told her that she shouldn't feel bad at all, that today's care is truly a consumer based arena and that she should get an answer to any question that she puts to her provider.

Then the conversation got really interesting.

She said that although she still has 2.5 months left before the birth of her first baby, she was already thinking about what she would do differently next time. I asked her what she thought she would do. She said she would probably go with a midwife and maybe even have a homebirth. She went on to explain that there was a discovery during this pregnancy in regard to the baby (I don't want to be specific) and that she didn't feel that her current provider gave her the best explanation possible, but tried to blow her off by responding "Just leave it to the professionals..."

When she said this, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

I wanted to tell her to run! Run as fast as she could and find a new care provider. Preferably a midwife, but what could I say? I tried to be as diplomatic as possible, but still let her know that she DOES have options. I wanted to say dump this provider immediately! Instead I told her to listen to her heart. That women have the best outcomes when they feel safe and supported.

I hope she makes the right choice. For her sake.